Family Context

I already posted some about the big holiday, which fell in mid-October this year. It was less stressful than the small holiday in August, mainly because I pretty much only visited people who specifically invited me. And one of my best friends canceled her invitation due to her cousin's unexpected death (a 23-year-old who died from diabetes, which is a big killer here). So the days of the holiday itself, I visited about 2-3 people a day, and the day after the three-day holiday, I visited four.

 

I did get to meet three of my current students' families. I don't normally take pictures on visits--except maybe of the food. But on this particular visit, our hostess kept insisting that we take pictures! So we complied.

 

For background, understand that this is my punk/emo student. He's probably 22 and comes early to class to work on his alphabet, because he doesn't read or write. But he is also the most likely student to have an emo picture on WhatsApp. Ever since I've met him, his status there has been "Love is hard." Mind you, he's not married, so I'm not sure if this means that finding a wife is hard or narrowing down the field is hard, or maybe that caring about someone is hard. One status picture was a man hanging from a gallows, others are typically about love. He changed our English group's icon to a bouquet of roses. (That's actually not that strange. Lots of guys here have profile pictures that are roses.)

 

But this is what I know of Z, so when he invited us to his house, I was a little nervous. I took Andrea, because it's my policy never to visit single students alone. Even she commented that he was a punk as he pulled his car alongside us, then led us to his house. It was probably the sunglasses.

 

But oh. my. word. His mother was the most delightful creature. Petite and cute and effervescent and welcoming. His four younger sisters were precious, too, even the youngest, who was too scared to join us in the room. We had coffee together, then his mother took outside to enjoy the yard.

 

And, my, it was a yard. I mean, a nice yard has fruit trees and a sprawling patio. Sometimes even palm trees and animals. This yard wasn't as large as some people's farms. But the the effort that went in to keeping it up showed us a fascinating father. We never saw Z's father, but from his yard and his wife's praises, we could tell that he loved his family, and he loved beauty and creativity. His wife had plenty of reason to urge us to "Take a picture."

 

Here is a swing that he built himself. Note how meticulously the plants are kept. Not every yard is cared for like this.



He built this teeter-totter.

Water and I'm not sure what else hanging.

A more panoramic view . There were other things that you can't see in these pictures--little bridges, swings, benches, even a weight-lifting contraption!

It only goes to show how important it is to see your students in context. I would have forever dismissed Z as a punk, but now I see that he comes from a family that loves him and is proud of him, and that his model is a father who loves and makes beautiful things for his family, and a mother who is proud of her husband and family. May love not be hard for Z forever, at least not in an emo way.