Horn Language

Chad called me the other night on my cell phone. I happened to be out at Kentucky Fried Chicken (one of two western franchises in town) and walked home as I talked to him. He commented on the loud horns. "People drive with their horns here," I reminded him.

I've noticed several meanings for the constant honks I hear:

1) To other vehicles: I'm coming through the intersection, and I'm hoping you aren't.

2) To other vehicles: I'm passing you, and I hope you see me.

3) To anything: Get out of my way.

4) To anything: move already.

5) To pedestrians: You'd better get out of my way, because I'm going to be where you are standing in two seconds or Watch out; coming through!

6) To pedestrians: You look like you need a taxi, and I'm your man.

I get honks for the last two the most. I don't quite understand #5, because I'm inevitably moving when he honks. If I didn't think I would be out of his way, I wouldn't be there! I mean, by the time I hear his horn, it would be too late to get out of his way! Number six could be subdivided into a) the taxis who honk but keep moving and b) the taxis who slow way down and creep along until you shake your head or ignore them for long enough. I call the latter "taxi stalkers." One was brazen enough to talk to me, and when I told him "no, thank you" and kept walking, he backed up and followed me. Creeper.

I'm used to the honking by now, though, and I haven't learned yet how to say, "Shut up."