Welcome in -----

I hear "Welcome in -----" fairly frequently. There must be something about me that looks like I wasn't born here. Maybe the bad scarf job with the pin poking into my ear and the end of the scarf flapping in the breeze? It's probably also the local hospitality . . . and the chance for the speaker to practice a little English. I nearly fell over when I heard "Welcome to -----" yesterday. He must have really studied in English class! (I wonder what they teach them in English class, anyway. The other day a young guy walked by me with a "Salaam aleikum. I laf you." I know that love had nothing to do with it. But really. Was that lesson #1, 2, 3, or 4? Of course, I shouldn't poke fun, since of all the Norwegian phrases I studied when I visited there, the one that I remember is "Are you married?")

This is truly a country where almost anything goes. "Adi" ("normal") is the mantra. Did you just see a woman fall out of the debab (mini-bus) and roll on the sidewalk? Adi. See people cut you in the drive thru line? Adi. Have the man collecting your money in the drive thru tell you you didn't pay enough when you're 98% sure you did . . . because he probably pocketed the extra? Adi.

I told one of my students' fathers that I didn't desire to drive here. "Why not?" he asked me. "It's so free!" Well, yes. He is right. You don't have to stay in your lane. You don't have to use turn signals. You can go the wrong way on a one-way. Stop signs don't exist. You drive with your horn. You can nose out into traffic and people won't be surprised. Maybe that could grow on me.

Ha. I just realized that the reason they generally have traffic cops here and not traffic lights is perhaps because no one would obey lights. Lights can't write them up if they run them. Traffic cops can.

It's exciting enough to be a passenger or pedestrian! You can also stop in the middle of the road and get something out of your trunk. You can walk out into the middle of traffic and expect people not to hit you (usually). You can whiz down the highway in someone's trunk, if you're small enough to fit. You can ride cross-legged on the mattress set on a truck bed--not in a truck bed, on a truck bed. I could watch him bounce. You can ride seat belt-less in the back of a taxi zooming down the road. (They actually are cracking down on seat belt use in the driver's seat and maybe the front passenger's. The taxi driver will wear a seat belt, but there may be none in seat behind him.) It's all adi.

I was riding in a taxi the other day when he pulled into a gas station. I'm not sure that he ever turned the car off while he fueled. I know he didn't turn the radio off; I just pray that he turned the engine off. You know all those scare e-mails about gas stations blowing up because of people using cell phones? If a gas station ever blew up anywhere, it was probably here. I think that nearly every time I walk past a gas station.

Speaking of cell phones, I've heard that the locals use theirs regularly on plane flights. Speaking of plane flights, I heard that the local airline once had a plane that started to take off, then stopped, because the pilot realized during taxi that he was too heavy to take off. At least he figured that out before he attempted. Apparently no one had taken weight limits too seriously when loading the plane.

Speaking of ice cream, which I wasn't speaking of (but it can contribute to human overweightedness), a friend told me the other day that she witnessed a worker at the local Baskin Robbins come on shift, then pick up a plastic spoon and test every single ice cream flavor one by one down the line with the same spoon. She'd had a friend who'd seen the same thing another time. Okay, count out x workers a day on x shifts with x plastic spoons . . . That could be a lot of germiness living in those glorious flavors. Does freezing kill germs? Because I sure like Baskin Robbins. But that's adi. Everyone shares dishes here, so it probably never crossed the workers' minds that that might be a problem.

(Speaking of Baskin Robbins, I told my fourth graders that if they read the New Testament before the end of the school year, we might be able to do something really special together. "Like go to Baskin Robbins?" M asked. Guess that was the tippy top exciting thing she could think of!)

And speaking of debabs, which I was earlier, my fellow teacher said never to sit by the always open door of the debab. He said that no matter how hard you hang on, if another vehicle hits yours, you are going out the door. And he's a science teacher, so he should know.

There comes a point where you really have to laugh! It's all so crazy and bizarre, because it's so unlike home. It doesn't mean that it's all wrong, though! My teacher friend pointed out that, because people tend to be more fatalistic in their mentality ("if it be the will of God"), they actually tend to be more patient. If someone stopped in the middle of traffic at home, he might see multiple obscene gestures. Here people honk, but they're not going to scream and be mad because they're missing an appointment. They accept more. And after she said that, I saw it. I rarely to never hear taxi or debab drivers grumbling about the silly things the drivers around them do. Adi.

Well, I do feel welcome in -----. And I do have a lot to learn. But I'm not sure that I'll ever use "adi" as wholeheartedly as the locals . . . unless I'm laughing.