Cameos

Yesterday a local girlfriend called me. Well, I called her because she had called and let the phone ring once, which is a sign that she's out of minutes but wants to talk to me. (I usually have plenty of minutes.) After thirty seconds of small talk, she announced, "I want you to come to my house. [pause] But not now. I will kill you. No, I will not kill you. I will call you."

Um, so glad you clarified that.

*******

I met the girlfriend above in my housemate Danny's English class. He tells me that all of the students mix up "kill" and "call," so it's quite the joke in class. He was pleased that Sarah could catch and correct herself.

Speaking of "kill," last December Danny asked his students to list verbs for most of the letters of the alphabet (he nixed "q" and a couple of others). For the letter "k," most of the students had chosen "kill," which made me a little nervous. Until it came to the guy who had picked "kiss."

"Oooh, you picked 'kiss,'" the guys around him razzed.

"Well, you all picked 'kill,'" he protested.

When I told my language teacher this story, she assured me that "'kill' is a famous verb." That didn't reassure me, but then she asked me to list the other "k" verbs, and the only one I could think of was "kick."

*******

On my way to language school yesterday, I saw a kind of military vehicle I've never seen before. I was maybe the length of a short bus, but shaped like an RV, big and boxy. No windows to speak of. I'm not sure what'd you'd put in it—weapons, soldiers? I knew it was military because it was painted green camouflage and accompanied by a gun truck of soldiers.

Last night, I told my housemates about the curious military vehicles I had seen. Sha had also seen green camo military vehicles and commented, "I wondered if they were painted like that to hide in the lush greenery."

It took a minute for this to sink in. Oh yeah, we live in the desert. The green camo on that truck is the most green we've seen for miles or months.

"They do have desert camo," Danny laughed.

"They probably haven't figured that out yet," I added.

"They should just cover them in trash," Hannah said.

Plastic bags blowing off them every which way. That would be the best city camouflage yet.

*******

The other day one of Danny's students called him out of the blue. (You have to hear Hannah tell the story with the accent to fully appreciate it.)

"Hello," the student opened. Then, "Teacher Danny, are you afraid?"

"No," Danny replied.

"Are you in [my country]?" his student asked.

"Yes," Danny answered.

"Any service?" (A rough English equivalent would be, "Is there anything I can do to help you?") the student
continued.

And then the student hung up.