What Do I Do?

Two days ago, I discovered a box at my door, brightly wrapped in Christmas-colored construction paper. My first clue that it was dangerous was the label "from your Character Suities." Brave as I am, I still opened it. It was full of toilet paper. Little strips with markered messages like "Shop till you drop, for yourself & us," and "Dream," plus a few t.p. rosettes for variety.

I groaned inside and thought, "What do I do to deserve stuff like this?" The answer came as quickly as the complaint: "I work in a placement program." I asked for this life; no more complaints.