to wish me a happy Valentine's Day.
It wasn't a bad Valentine's Day, as Valentine's Days go. I mean, it was crummy that I had to leave Mom at the airport at the end of the day. But the day itself was full of more memory-making with her. Time visiting more local friends, time at the beach, Dairy Queen, exploring the old souq in the capital, strolling along the waterfront, her buying something she wanted to for my kitchen. She gave me a card before she left, and I tucked it in my purse to open later.
The hour-and-a-half trip from the airport home was sad, but it was a good time processing with God some of the needs of the multitude of friends we've visited in the past two weeks. I mean, I always try to spend lots of time with my friends here, but it was like drinking from a fire hydrant while Mom was here. So I had lots of people on my heart and mind. Sick people. Fearful people. My own weaknesses. All the stuff that God knows what to do with. I was thinking some about the future and, yes, wondering again what kind of man I might marry, but I wasn't particularly bewailing Valentine's Day.
As I neared my hometown, my phone buzzed. I checked to see who the message was from, and could see it said, "Hi kendra Happy Valentines Day." From a former male student.
Now, you have to understand that Valentine's Day is fairly frowned upon in this country. It's frowned upon in conservative circles in Islam in general, though I think that many people in more westernized countries are more relaxed about it. Romantic love just isn't supposed to be all that important, I think. And I can respect that. Yet some the stores here, many Indian-owned or Filipino-manned, still have Valentine's displays. And from things like that, the local people infer that Valentine's Day is pretty important to westerners and, by extension, Christians (because westerners are Christians in the minds of people here).
I actually chuckle that they think it's that important, because it's nothing like Christmas or Resurrection Day to me. But as I processed it with Mom beforehand, I realized that those of us who like to send cards do actually send them for Valentine's Day. And the holiday makes me think of God's love, and people I love, and that's all good.
So to get a Valentine's message from this former student held meaning far beyond romantic. It said to me, "On this holiday that you celebrate and I don't, I'm thinking of you, and I wish you the best." If I received a Valentine's message from almost any other local guy, it would creep me out. But this man has always been a gentleman and very respectful, and I know that he is genuine and kind, not one bit a flirt. When I got home and read what the remainder actually said, it was, "I wish for you good life with who you loves......." I deeply appreciate his thoughtfulness in stepping outside of what he personally believes to wish me well on a holiday he perceives as important to me. (He wished me a merry Christmas, too, so I have to confess that, of all my students, I wondered if he might message on Valentine's Day.)
And lest you get excited that I have found true love at last, I'll smile and tell you about the barriers. A different faith. (He strongly believes what he believes.) Divorce. Cultural and class issues in society here. Language, because his first language is a language spoken by only a few thousand people. He is literally a mountain man who will probably only ever remarry a girl from his tribe or locality. Yet through him I know that God was telling me that he loves me, that he remembered me on Valentine's Day. That even though I'm not celebrating it with flowers and a fancy dinner with a special man, God bridged the many barriers between us so that I could be close to him.
And he's reached across and bridged the barriers for all peoples, including the mountain tribes this kind man represents, and I yearn for them to know deeper closeness with him.
It wasn't a bad Valentine's Day, as Valentine's Days go. I mean, it was crummy that I had to leave Mom at the airport at the end of the day. But the day itself was full of more memory-making with her. Time visiting more local friends, time at the beach, Dairy Queen, exploring the old souq in the capital, strolling along the waterfront, her buying something she wanted to for my kitchen. She gave me a card before she left, and I tucked it in my purse to open later.
The hour-and-a-half trip from the airport home was sad, but it was a good time processing with God some of the needs of the multitude of friends we've visited in the past two weeks. I mean, I always try to spend lots of time with my friends here, but it was like drinking from a fire hydrant while Mom was here. So I had lots of people on my heart and mind. Sick people. Fearful people. My own weaknesses. All the stuff that God knows what to do with. I was thinking some about the future and, yes, wondering again what kind of man I might marry, but I wasn't particularly bewailing Valentine's Day.
As I neared my hometown, my phone buzzed. I checked to see who the message was from, and could see it said, "Hi kendra Happy Valentines Day." From a former male student.
Now, you have to understand that Valentine's Day is fairly frowned upon in this country. It's frowned upon in conservative circles in Islam in general, though I think that many people in more westernized countries are more relaxed about it. Romantic love just isn't supposed to be all that important, I think. And I can respect that. Yet some the stores here, many Indian-owned or Filipino-manned, still have Valentine's displays. And from things like that, the local people infer that Valentine's Day is pretty important to westerners and, by extension, Christians (because westerners are Christians in the minds of people here).
I actually chuckle that they think it's that important, because it's nothing like Christmas or Resurrection Day to me. But as I processed it with Mom beforehand, I realized that those of us who like to send cards do actually send them for Valentine's Day. And the holiday makes me think of God's love, and people I love, and that's all good.
So to get a Valentine's message from this former student held meaning far beyond romantic. It said to me, "On this holiday that you celebrate and I don't, I'm thinking of you, and I wish you the best." If I received a Valentine's message from almost any other local guy, it would creep me out. But this man has always been a gentleman and very respectful, and I know that he is genuine and kind, not one bit a flirt. When I got home and read what the remainder actually said, it was, "I wish for you good life with who you loves......." I deeply appreciate his thoughtfulness in stepping outside of what he personally believes to wish me well on a holiday he perceives as important to me. (He wished me a merry Christmas, too, so I have to confess that, of all my students, I wondered if he might message on Valentine's Day.)
And lest you get excited that I have found true love at last, I'll smile and tell you about the barriers. A different faith. (He strongly believes what he believes.) Divorce. Cultural and class issues in society here. Language, because his first language is a language spoken by only a few thousand people. He is literally a mountain man who will probably only ever remarry a girl from his tribe or locality. Yet through him I know that God was telling me that he loves me, that he remembered me on Valentine's Day. That even though I'm not celebrating it with flowers and a fancy dinner with a special man, God bridged the many barriers between us so that I could be close to him.
And he's reached across and bridged the barriers for all peoples, including the mountain tribes this kind man represents, and I yearn for them to know deeper closeness with him.
We love because he first loved us.
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1 comment:
Love this story, just love it.
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